Together In Perfect Harmony

Looking rather like a poorly-animated mugshot of herself in ten years time, Hillary Clinton appeared on television yesterday to claim victory in Côte d'Ivoire.

"This transition sends a strong signal to dictators and tyrants throughout the region and around the world: they may not disregard the rights of their own people in free and fair elections and there will be consequences for those who cling to power. We commend the United States, the government and people of France and other members of the International Community who have worked diligently to ensure the safety and security of the Ivorian people throughout this crisis."

(Quite why we're commending the United States is unclear, but perhaps it's the even-handed way in which former aides to (Bill) Clinton lobbied for Gbagbo in Washington. It is indeed commendable when a country can roll over any obstacle to commerce.)

Now, Sordel knew nothing at all about Côte d'Ivoire until the rebels had actually surrounded Laurent Gbagbo's compound, but before we break out the champagne and toast to a much-needed fillip to democracy and security, it's perhaps worth taking a critical look at this victory.

Laurent Gbagbo - universally described as a "strongman" (which summons up in Sordel's mind only images of curled moustachios and a striped bathing costume) - was presumably some sort of horrific tribal warlord wearing the teeth of his opponents as a necklace. Somehow he started out as Director of the Institute of History, Art, and African Archeology at the University of Abidjan, but we can assume that he degenerated pretty swiftly after that.

Gbagbo's political manoevring in Côte d'Ivoire has seemingly been pretty unscrupulous over the years, with a number of human rights abuses and electoral tricks employed to keep him in power. It's lucky for the Ivorian population, then, that members of "the International Community have worked diligently to ensure the safety and security of the Ivorian people throughout this crisis."

Protecting civilians is, after all, something at which the commendable United States excels.

So, readers may share Sordel's mild surprise at a Human Rights Watch report that claims that Ivorians have been raped, killed, maimed, have had their villages burned etc. etc. all by people fighting on behalf of incoming-president-and-champion-of-peace-&-democracy Alassane Ouattara.

While the U.S. was ensuring their safety and security?

Ouattara The Fuck?!!

Perhaps before Hillary draws the moral of this tale she should consider some other possible morals that might be inferred, such as the following. That both sides in a sufficiently-entrenched conflict will ultimately become guilty of horrific abuse? That if you want to conquer a dictator it helps to have rebels who have been battle-hardened in a civil war and spent several years governing a substantial area of the country?

Or maybe, just maybe, that the best way to participate in the affairs of another country is to do absolutely nothing at all until a winner becomes clear and then turn up in time to claim the assist.