A Ferrero Rocher Crisis

In the glamorous world of international diplomacy, a posting to Kyrgyzstan is, Sordel would guess, not the most contested of vacancies. Still, ambassador is ambassador, and Tatiana Gfoeller-Volkoff was presumably delighted when she was appointed by President George W. Bush as part of his initiative to get "all things that are difficult to spell" into the same file. Shortly after her arrival, she attended a brunch in the capitol, Bishkek (you knew that, right?), little guessing that her moment of Destiny had arrived.

When one is born with the accurate transcription of a sneeze where a surname should be, one has to try that little bit harder, so it is hardly surprising that Gfoeller attempted to spice up her reports back to the State Department: not least when the opportunity arose to venture a sketch of Prince Andrew. What is remarkable about this storm in a teacup, however, is not that she took exception to him, but that she took exception to things which seems so very unexceptional.

Among the comments recorded are his declaration that the investigation into Britain's Al-Yamama deal with Saudi-Arabia was a bad thing. The British government clearly thought so too, since it intervened to prevent the investigation. The Duke of York was hardly off-message in voicing his criticism.

Other titbits thought worthwhile for addition to the State Department's file include the Prince's referring to the current adventure in Central Asia as "The Great Game" which, one would have thought, is neither controversial nor novel.

And that the U.S. has no sense of Geography, which - given that it blithely invaded two countries which together have an area of over a million square kilometres using an army more suited in size to the occupation of Cornwall - is an assertion voiced and proven in the space of two sentences.

So the question that arises is not whether Prince Andrew has demonstrated a shocking lack of delicacy, but whether the Diplomatic Corps is really worth its cost if the intelligence data that it is providing is really of this extraordinarily low quality. It seems that the U.S. is gloating over the possession of a hoard of international secrets that even Hello magazine would consign unpublished to the editorial shredder.

As for Prince Andrew ... well, given that he is the former husband of Sarah, Duchess of York, he must be used to public revelations a good deal more embarrassing than these.